Friday, March 14, 2014

One Step Ahead

Morning!

In this past 2 weeks, I've encountered so many many many experiences. Some being awesome, some others are terrifying. But all in all, those experiences are priceless, and somewhat I feel proud of myself, for being able to handle things I didn't even dream that I could handle.

It all starts months ago, when my friends and I signed up for 63rd IFMSA General Assembly, in Hammamet, Tunisia. Back then, we didn't know that the schedule for the meeting clashed with our exams schedule. We've talked to our module coordinator (Cardiovascular module, man!), and she said that we could do our exams later after we got home, but we would not get any chance of remedial, meaning that if we fail the test once, we would not pass the module immediately. Moreover..... The day after we got home, we had to do anatomy practical test. Okay, that sounded terrifying isn't it? To be honest, until the day before my departure, I still doubted my journey to Tunisia. Afraid that I would not pass the module.

Another thing that bugged me was, that I agreed to be the Project Officer for Training New Trainer Kaukus 3. Guess what? The event was held D-1 before my departure, and several days before my departure, I was really busy to prepare for the Exchange Fair and Project Fair which will be held in the March Meeting. I really hated myself for saying yes to any offer, and it resulted in this chaos. I didn't manage to handle the TNT well and I did some mistakes in my job as a PO, and I really apologized for it. The blame is on me, for not thinking thoroughly of my decisions. But in the end, I am very grateful that the committee I chose worked really well and they can cover me in the event :'D

Okay, now here's the fun part
After battle with myself before the departure, then the D-day had arrived! I was very excited. There were 10 delegations from Indonesia, and there were 4 of us from UI (Manda, Mariska, Christy, and me!) We departed in the middle of the night. We took an 8 hour flight to Dubai, and then we continue our journey from Dubai to Tunisia. During the flight, we were all haunted by the thought of the exams, thus we spent most of our time in the flight by studying (and sleeping... of course)

After hours of long flight, finally we arrived in Tunisia!! Surprisingly the airport doesn't look that different from the one in Indonesia. And in the airport we met another delegation from Indonesia, Adit from Unpad. In the airport, we, Indonesian delegations, and other delegations arriving on the same day and time were picked up by the OC member, and we all took a bus to the venue. 

I thought attending a GA would be very tiring with super packed schedule. But it turned out that I'm dead wrong. GA IS SO FREAKIN' FUN. More fun than anything in this world. Here, I met many awesome and amazing people from around the world. And I found out that people from around the world are very social, meaning that they easily approach people and they are more than welcome if you come and approach them first. Here, in the GA, in the middle of a session we often randomly dance together to the music, we play many fun games together. Even in the plenary! There was a motion about plenary dance! How fun was that? I didn't think that plenary in the GA would be very fun, and I really do think that plenary in the National Meeting should also be as fun. The GA schedule itself did look packed, but then we were the ones who choose for ourselves whether we want to join the session or not. We were adults anyway, thus we know what we can get and what we will lose if we didn't attend a session.

In this GA also, I got a picture that IFMSA is a huge huge organization. Here, I learned a little more about IFMSA and about other NMOs and problems they are facing, also the perspectives of people from around the world regarding health in the post-2015 agenda (that's what we came here about, isn't it?) and thus I felt amazing. I felt that me, as a medical student still lack many things. I didn't think global about health, and I only focus on my study as a medical student, whereas here I found that medical students from around the world were all concerned regarding the global health issue. I promise to myself that I will keep up with the global health issue, because hey, it is the utmost importance.

All in all, this GA was super amazing. I've said this many times after I got back, that I want to go back to Tunisia (so do everyone else!). You can say that I still got the euphoria after the GA lol. Here are some awesome pics from the GA:

Project Fair: Cascade by CIMSA UNISSULA


Panoramic view of Sidi Bou Said, Tunis


UI Delegations!


Indonesian Delegations feat. IFMSA - Spain


Indonesian Delegations & NEO IFMSA - Spain


But then, just like Josko said, the world starts when we get back home. And here we are, home.
The day after we got back from Tunisia, we got to do our anatomy practical exam. I literally didn't sleep during the night and I studied my ass off, but I didn't really grab the subject in my mind. The next day, we did our practical exam. I found it quite difficult, but then immediately after the exam we got the news that everyone passed the exam. I was so grateful.....

The next day, we got to do our practical exam, the one we missed when we were in Tunisia. Again, I didn't sleep during the night. Until I wrote this text, I haven't got the result of the exam. Hopefully we will pass the exam..

And the next day again, another exam again. And again and again and again I did not sleep during the night and studied hard. But all of it were paid off. We passed the exam. 

After all the exams and things we should catch up after our arrival in Jakarta, I felt awesome. I feel proud of myself, that I can face all of these things I didn't even imagine that I would face. I mean, hey, I do have the ability to pass all these storms.... I am very grateful to Allah for helping me do everything in these past 2 weeks :) and I am also very thankful to all of UI delegations for supporting me (hey, we're all in this together!) 

That's the end of my story, and I'll leave you with a very known quote, which I just proved to be very true: 
"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

And another message: GA was super duper fun. You should attend at least one in your life, especially if you're an IFMSA member!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough



I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door



But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough



Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change



But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough



And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay



And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Bersyukur

23:16 PM

Besok Summative 2 Modul Dermato-Musculoskeletal. Sudah belajar, sudah formative, ingin tidur, tapi insecure. Seperti menunggu sesuatu datang menghampiri, tapi apa yang ditunggu? Yap, ini khawatir namanya. Entah ini pertanda baik atau buruk untuk summative esok, namun gue selalu berharap ini pertanda baik.

Kalau dipikir-pikir lagi, flashback ke zaman dulu, lihat-lihat lagi hari kemarin, kemarinnya lagi.... Kapan Allah nggak ada buat gue? 

Selama gue hidup, banyaaaak masalah yang harus dihadapi, suka maupun tidak. Masalah intrapersonal, masalah antar teman, masalah akademik, masalah organisasi, dan bermacam-macam masalah lainnya. Gue selalu percaya, keadaan sesulit apapun pasti bagaimanapun juga akan berlalu. 

Contoh aja, ketika gue beberapa bulan lalu harus menghadapi ribuan kemelut kesulitan dan tetek bengek organisasi, ujian modul, yang akhirnya semua membuat gue harus terbaring di rumah sakit, gue percaya Allah pasti akan menolong gue bagaimanapun caranya. Dan benar saja, alhamdulillah ujian akhir modul gue lulus dengan nilai yang menurut gue memuaskan. Semua masalah organisasi itupun selesai. Sampai sekarang gue juga nggak habis pikir, how come I survived those waves? well, jawabannya hanya satu, karena Allah selalu ada di samping gue. Menenangkan hati, menguatkan hati, memberi gue pencerahan akan bagaimana gue harus bertindak dan solve those problems and stuffs

Selain masalah itu, masih banyak hal-hal lain dimana Allah selalu ada di samping gue. Ketika gue galau akan apapun itu, terjepit masalah-masalah intra maupun interpersonal, gue selalu diberi jalan keluar yang baik. Ya, meskipun jalan keluar itu nggak diberi langsung ataupun secara instan (harus benar-benar dipikir dan dicari), tapi sooner or later jalan keluar itu pasti ada, entah dalam bentuk pencerahan, suara batin, atau apapun. jalan keluar itu ada

Allah itu selalu ada untuk umat-Nya, ketika umat-Nya sedang dalam kesulitan, kesedihan, dan permasalahan apapun, Allah pasti akan ada untuk memberi jalan keluar, dan mengembalikan semangat serta senyuman manis umat-Nya.

Kita harus selalu bersykur, atas apa yang kita punya sekarang. No matter how big your problems are now, no matter how stressful you get, no matter how depressed you are now, selalu ingat kalau ujian ini pasti ada akhirnya. Semua pasti ada jalan keluarnya. Semua itu butuh waktu, lo butuh waktu untuk figure out how things will go from here, dan masalah lo pun butuh waktu untuk sampai ke jalan keluarnya. 

Cheers!



Saturday, September 28, 2013

Red

It's 3:58 AM in the morning and the thought of it just crossed my mind. Again.

I'm in denial. A huge one. And I cannot help not to feel hopeless. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for that one wind blow to blow me off of the top. The fall must have hurt. A lot.

I only have 2 options. Stay still and wait for the wind, or... Runaway

That is the hardest part. You may think that running away is as easy as flipping a coin, but you're dead wrong. Running away from something you long, running away from something that's in front of you, running away from something you love the most, is never easy.

But running away is the best option. Even though it's hard, even though it's painful, the fall must have hurt a lot more that running away.

Call me a coward, call me anything you want, but I'm not gonna fall twice. Something's got to change. I don't want to live that way anymore.

Dear God, just this time, let me run away. 
And never come back

























unless it asks me to